Vicious Attack by Herd of Wild Boar Zombies Shocks Rural Village

Inhabitants recount terrifying ordeal; police officers and local politicians express concerns over public safety

Choulet-des-Pieds, Auvergne — In an unprecedented and harrowing incident, a small rural village became the setting for a terrifying attack by a herd of wild boar zombies. The unsuspecting inhabitants of this serene community were thrust into a nightmarish scenario, with eyewitnesses reporting scenes of panic and mayhem.

Eyewitnesses recall the events that unfolded with vivid detail, describing the sudden appearance of the grotesque creatures that seemed to be an unholy amalgamation of wild boars and the walking dead. These zombie boars, previously docile inhabitants of the surrounding forests when not roasted and served on a plate, turned ferocious, exhibiting aggressive behavior and attacking everything in their path.

Suzanne DèsJamais, survivor of attack by the wild boar zombies
Survivor Suzanne DèsJamais. Photo: E. Diot

Resident Suzanne DèsJamais, who was returning home from a late-night assignation with the parish priest, Jacques (not his real name), shared her harrowing encounter. “I heard some rustling in the bushes, and before I knew it, I was surrounded by a pack of these zombie boars,” she recounted. “They had red eyes and foaming mouths, and their snarls sent chills down my spine. I barely managed to escape with my life.” Sadly, Jacques wasn’t as fortunate.

Other witnesses reported similar tales of terror, with the boar zombies charging through the village streets, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. Residents were forced to seek refuge in their homes, barricading doors and windows.

Local law enforcement quickly reacted to the alarming situation, sending a group of drafted farmers from a nearby hamlet along with an officer to assess the threat and ensure the safety of the villagers. The officer in question, Sergeant Berthold Bâtard, described the scene as “something out of a horror movie.” He added, “We did our best to contain the situation and protect the residents, but these creatures were relentless. It was like fighting an army of the undead.”

Sergeant Berthold Bâtard, commenting on the attack by the wild boar zombies
“Like fighting an army of the undead.” — Sgt. Bâtard

The attack, lasting several hours, left the village in disarray. Numerous properties suffered significant damage, with gardens uprooted, fences demolished, and vehicles overturned. The local authorities have initiated efforts to restore normalcy to the community, while also investigating the cause of this unprecedented event.

Local politicians have expressed deep concern over the safety of the villagers and called for immediate action to prevent similar incidents in the future. Mayor Luc LeBon issued a statement, saying, “The well-being of our citizens is our top priority. We will work closely with wildlife experts and law enforcement to understand the origins of this attack and take necessary measures to ensure the safety of our community.”

As the village attempts to recover from the horrifying ordeal, residents remain on high alert, wary of any signs of danger. The investigation into the zombie boar incident is ongoing, as experts examine possible causes, including viral infections or environmental factors. Meanwhile, the traumatized villagers try to find solace in their shared experience, hoping that such a terrifying event will never repeat itself.

In the wake of this nightmarish attack, one thing remains certain: this small rural village will forever be marked by the presence of the wild boar zombies, an event that will be etched into the collective memory of its residents for years to come.


  • Vigoty Ligoty IV

    Monsieur Vigoty Ligoty IV, a distinguished senior staff member at TWO, was born in 1723 to an ancient aristocratic family in Budapest, Hungary. In his forties, M. Ligoty relocated to Neuilly-sur-Seine, where he eventually learned his letters. From then on, he dedicated all of his time and bent his efforts toward cultivating his literary skills and indulging the habit of drinking absinthe in the company of scantily clad mademoiselles at various shady Parisian establishments. Although he tragically did not survive the French Revolution, M. Ligoty’s passion for his literary craft and worldly pursuits remains undiminished to this day.